I’ve fought with myself for a couple days now about writing this, mostly because I was embarrassed to talk about it, but after reading this post, I felt compelled to share something that happened to me over the weekend.
Like most of us guys who go to cons, I am a kilt wearer. I actually do have some Scottish heritage, not to mention I’m a member of the 501st Kilted Trooper Brigade, so to me it’s not a costume— there’s a lot of pride behind why I wear it. That and I will admit that there is some vanity to it as well. Not to sound too self-deprecating, but I don’t think I’m the most overly attractive person— I’m overweight and older than the majority of my friends, so that’s often on my mind when I see my friends at cons wearing next to nothing and looking great doing it, but I do feel good when I’m kilted up. I like the attention and the camaraderie between all of my kilted brethren.
From time to time, I’ve been known to wear my kilt around the muggles. I’ll wear it to roller derby because the vibe there is similar to cons, but I’ll also wear it to the bars and even work on occasion. And of course I’ll get asked the typical questions about why I’m wearing it and the ever-popular what am I wearing under it, which I typically reply with, “My shoes.” It gets a laugh and everyone goes back on with their lives. At a local radio station event a couple years ago, I was even applauded while waiting in line in the men’s room. I like when people tell me I look nice or think I’m a firefighter (yeah, I don’t know either) because it doesn’t happen all that often.
So Friday nite I went to a bar on the north side of town with my wife and some friends. It’s your typical suburbia generic mall Irish pub— lots of Guinness mirrors, 300 TVs, Bud Light on tap, and a makeshift stage for the cover band playing that evening. After a couple drinks I worked up enough liquid courage to start dancing, so I head up with one of my friends.
After a few minutes a couple of the women standing on the side of the dance floor come up and ask the typical questions, I respond, they smile, and leave. Another woman comes up to my friend and makes a comment to her about her being worried about her husband wearing a kilt around all these women, and my friend responds with us not being married so she starts dancing up on me, which was fine, whatever. I mention while we’re not married my wife happens to be in the back, so she backs off.
Then shortly after that another woman comes up, starts grinding on me behind me, and then pulls up my kilt. I move my hands down to pull it out of her hands, thinking she’d take the hint, and then she proceeds to do it again. I turn around and ask politely for her to not do that, and she responds with a, “Aw, c’mon, I just want to see,” and I just turn around and continue to ignore her. She then continues to prod me about seeing what’s under my kilt and grabbing for it, so my friend takes my hand and pulls me away back to our table.
I come back after another drink and bring my wife with me, thinking the woman from earlier might take the hint. She doesn’t. She proceeds to get between me and my wife and starts to pull up the front of my kilt, begging to see what’s underneath. At this point the woman’s boyfriend/husband has also gotten in on the egging on and wants to see too. My wife says um, that’s my husband, please stop, and the woman responds with something to the equivalent of, “Oh, I don’t want to hook up with him, I just want to see what’s under there,” but she thankfully stops and we proceed with our evening and have a good time.
THIS IS NOT OKAY. When did this become the norm, where I in no way would EVER ask a woman if she was going commando under a skirt or dress much less pull it up to check, but women are totally empowered to do so when the situation is reversed? One of my friends at GenCon actually got asked by a woman if she could take a picture of her doing a reach-around under his kilt. WTF. What would she say if a guy came up to her and asked the same question?
So I spent most of the day Saturday wondering if I was asking for it. If just because I’m wearing a kilt around the muggles I should expect and live with it. And I got embarrassed as a guy thinking that hell, I’m sure other guys would probably love that kind of attention and thrive off of it.
Then I realized they wouldn’t. There should be no difference ever between a girl dressing up and looking nice and wanting to be noticed while not expecting to be groped by anyone at a bar and a guy doing the same thing. It’s one thing to look and appreciate and comment, it’s another thing to grab and grope and be completely inappropriate.
And more to the point, who the hell wants to see any man’s junk? I can honestly say that there is nothing less attractive on any man than his package. Plus it was 45 degrees outside so I was cold. Yeah, I’m going with that argument.
PEOPLE. STOP TOUCHING EACH OTHER WITHOUT PERMISSION. This is behavior you learned how to control in pre-school. It does not start being okay because you’re an adult. FFS.
This is a Cutey Honey costume that I made!
Hi! As you guys asked for some submissions from AWA, here are a few of mine. First is Cutey Honey, from Cutey Honey Flash. I was surprised so many people recognized me in this! You know it’s a hit when someone sneaks up behind you and starts singing the 90s OVA theme song in your ear before…